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THE MEMOIR PORJECT

Marion Roach Smith

2011

ISBN 978-0-446-58484-5

…I am quite sure that if you tell the truth, you will feel something real. “Feeling something real is what I prefer to live, trying to palpate the small moments of life, the moment of intuition, the places where we fail and where we change.

“Circuit” reminds me that I need to make the connections between my ideas quite clear,…keep in mind that your story is deeply embedded in you and so well known to only you that unless you tell it with great care, we will not understand it, no matter how much it dazzles you.

…The story’s theme now occupies that place of prominence-the “what is this about” being the main attraction.

…How it happened is not what make it interesting. That it happened at all- why it happened and where you go from here-is interesting…You have to give readers a reason for this thing to live on in their hearts and minds. Only then can we find your scene lively enough to enjoy, or learn from, or be appalled by.

This is what came into focus as I struggled with the piece, and it began to occur to me that real expressions of national pride- much like personal pride- are a comfort we grow into, and perhaps patriotism is not the love-it-or-leave-it choice we were once told it was, but rather the delicatessen plan that most complex issues reveal themselves to be.

Writing is a form of packing, and you always want to be on the move, so packing light should be the ethic, no matter the length of the piece…A blog post, a personal essay, even a full-length memoir, is not about stuffing in as much as you can; rather it’s about illustrating something correctly.

….Ego being what it is, when given permission to write about ourselves, we tend to spill all those things we’ve done, thoughts we’ve had, and people we’ve know, since they all seem wildly important. And they are. To us, though not necessarily to them, those other people, the readers.

It’s in the small moments that life is truly lived. Lessons from the “large moments” are hard to absorb and rarely learned.

They die, and you live and learn. It works for me. And when it’s my turn to be read over and clipped (or not), I hope something about my labors will leave somebody inspired. But that’s dicey, because we get into all kinds of trouble when we try to be admired.

It may have taken only seconds for my fear to drain out and be replaced with something else. And in that small moment there was- maybe in those small moments there always is –a choice. For me it was to flee the room or to shove the fear aside and fill the space with something better.

MAY I ? YES, YOU MAY.

When choosing a topic, ask yourself the simple question “can I write about this ?”

…If not, that’s fine, too. Maybe you’re living with something right now that’s too difficult to write in real time so take notes; during a long witting life, you will find another time and, more to the point, another angle from which to view anything.

In fiction and movies, everyone is witty. In nonfiction, we wrestle with the obvious, and we share our humanity. These little moments, revelatory real events, are what turn and shape our lives. So write about those. What do you wish you had said ? That might be interesting; it’s certainly universal.

…In short pieces of memoir, give us a cosmic graph, and we’ll have the guide we need to read on.

..when one of those grand piano sentences awakens you in the middle of the night, maybe it’s telling you what the piece is supposed to be about-….-and not meant to be shoved whole into the piece. Instead of using the line, show us what that idea looks like. Illustrate that ethic throughout the piece. We’ll get it. And we’ll buy it by the carton.

Contents

REQUIRED READING

-Forget all those mindless writing exercises and learn to write for real.

YOU MUST BE PRESENT TO WIN

-Pay attention ! which details you include will determine the success of your memoir.

GALILEO IN WAL-MART

-Don’t let all the “stuff” of life’s overcrowded aisles distract you; focus that lens to sharpen your table

HAVING SEX WITH ROGER

-Get a firm grip on that first draft with your eyes open, the lights on, and a notebook by the bed.

THE BARBIE-BODIED BOOK

-You writing math must add up to figure so compelling the reader can’t take his or her eyes off your argument.

LIFE IN THE MORGUE

-Editing is the perfect murder, though the darlings you kill can live to see another day.